This Opinion article is part of a Narcity Media series. The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Narcity Media.
The Canadian grocery store is a shitty party right now, and I don’t know about you, but I personally avoided entering anything with the words “lob” or “lois”.
Come in, Dollarama. The discount retailer, as many Ontarians know, can be a great place to pick up groceries, especially if you have an aversion to $4 cans of soup or are tempted by giant walls of vintage cheese.
But, while shopping at the iconic dollar store might make anyone feel like a winner once in a while, it also tries to throw a fair amount of hot trash at people, apparently. under the motto: “It’s very cheap, we care.”
So to help my fellow citizens avoid buying barely salable crap, I thought I would skip over my top picks for things I would never buy from Dollarama.
Greeting cards
Greeting cards.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
Nothing says I don’t care about you like when you hand a $1 greeting card to a loved one. The so-called heartfelt messages of these cards are embarrassingly generic, and most of the designs seem to have ripped off a Windows 95 screensaver. I’m being harsh, but I personally think Hallmark cards are the way to go.
Toilet paper
Toilet paper.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
The double fold is not something you want to expect when you get home. It’s just disrespectful to your ass, bro. I understand. It’s tough there, the man upstairs is trying to throw broccoli for an arm and a leg, but toilet paper isn’t where you want to make your cuts. Find out where the sales are and get quality TPs. You’re worth it, cover girl.
That being said, no one should pay $8 for toilet paper, so if it’s in between tricks or a highway robbery, this option won’t hurt. Just your pride, maybe.
Pregnancy/ovulation test
Pregnancy/ovulation test.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
OK, I understand why someone would buy these tests from Dollarama. After all, how advanced can a technology you pee on be? However, my desire to know if my life and my partner’s life are about to change forever is worth going to a nearby pharmacy and spending a few extra bucks. Just say.
Razors
Razors.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
It might just be the endless ads Gillette has been running through my head, but buying a super flimsy blade to shave my neck sounds like a big boy ouchie recipe to me. Also, the one I have now has a little ball in it, I don’t know what it’s doing, but I’m glad it’s there.
No judgment if you go this route though, my roommates and I took advantage of these razors when we were broke college students. You also.
Shampoo
Shampoo.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
First of all, the bottle looks more like a product you would use to clean your toilet bowl. As a card-carrying member of the long hair guy community, I feel I have a responsibility to maintain a “sick flow” at all times, which means investing more money in my hair care products these these days. No sulfates for me.
Toys
Toys.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
I know this may sound like a brutal take, but hear me out. I grew up in the lower middle class in the early 2000s, so I’ve tested many toys purchased from Dollarama and can tell you firsthand that they’re just junk. This bow doesn’t “shoot” one of those “arrows” at anything, and I can still feel those army helmets cutting into my nine-year-old scalp.
Halloween costume
Halloween costume.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
I feel like I could just show you the picture of this one, and you’d get it. But, I don’t know, maybe you’d like to dress up as a 3rd grade teacher dressed as a clown. It could be meta. That’s a no from me, man. However, if you are a student or needy, I won’t hold it against you. As horrifying as that may be.
Battery
Battery.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
Or dead batteries. I used to buy these to power my Xbox controllers in high school, and they would die almost immediately. I don’t know how much legal “juice” you need to put in a battery to sell it, but I feel like Panasonic is aiming for the absolute minimum.
Listeners
Listeners.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
If you buy your headphones from Dollarama, know that you’ve never heard your Spotify playlist, just a buzzing treble mess. You’re probably also listening to stuff in mono, not on purpose, but because only one of your headphones works for some reason, even though you just bought it. You can get good quality headphones for $30, don’t miss hearing the bass drop, my friend.
Cologne
Cologne.
Patrick John Gilson | Narcity
I could never do this to myself or anyone else sharing an elevator or a small room with me. I haven’t worn cologne for years simply because I couldn’t justify dropping $50 on a bottle. No date ever called me about it. But I guess they would if I smelled like a gas pump.
I would say that as a whole, Dollarama, while flawed, is still a gem, especially when it comes to snacks, silverware, and school supplies. Don’t come for me!
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
window.runAfterPageLoad(function(){ window.REBELMOUSE_STDLIB.loadExternalScript("https://cdn.onthe.io/io.js/N5LFW2jTVvxd", function() { }); });
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
!(function (f, b, e, v, n, t, s) { if (f.fbq) return; n = f.fbq = function () { n.callMethod ? n.callMethod.apply(n, arguments) : n.queue.push(arguments); }; if (!f._fbq) f._fbq = n; n.push = n; n.loaded = !0; n.version = "2.0"; n.queue = []; })( window, document, "script", "https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js" ); fbq("init", "371443559942562"); fbq("track", "PageView");
window.runAfterPageLoad(function(){ window.REBELMOUSE_STDLIB.loadExternalScript("https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js", function() { }); });
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
window.runAfterPageLoad(function(){ window.REBELMOUSE_STDLIB.loadExternalScript("https://www.anrdoezrs.net/am/8067239/impressions/page/am.js", function() { }); });
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
window.beOpAsyncInit = function() { BeOpSDK.init({ account: "620ace10185a040c0d78e38b" }); BeOpSDK.watch(); };
window.runAfterPageLoad(function(){ window.REBELMOUSE_STDLIB.loadExternalScript("https://widget.beop.io/sdk.js", function() { }); });
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
window.teads_analytics = window.teads_analytics || {}; window.teads_analytics.analytics_tag_id = "PUB_12989"; window.teads_analytics.share = window.teads_analytics.share || function() { ;(window.teads_analytics.shared_data = window.teads_analytics.shared_data || []).push(arguments) };
window.runAfterPageLoad(function(){ window.REBELMOUSE_STDLIB.loadExternalScript("//a.teads.tv/analytics/tag.js", function() { }); });
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
window.runAfterPageLoad(function(){ window.REBELMOUSE_STDLIB.loadExternalScript("https://ctxtfl.com/scripts/js/p.js?id=1Pw320GVt3CeYkJrf9UCAgOq9", function() { }); });
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
let elementContext = document.querySelectorAll(".rebellt-ecommerce");
window.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', (event) => { function addChanges(item) { let productName = document.querySelector("h3").textContent; let productPrice = document.querySelector(".rebellt-ecommerce--price"); //let buyBtn = item.querySelector(".rebellt-ecommerce--btn"); let myText = document.querySelector(".media-caption ~ p"); //let myPrice = item.querySelector(".rebellt-ecommerce--price").childNodes[2].nodeValue;
let createElem = document.createElement("div"); createElem.textContent = productName; let textCopy = myText.cloneNode(true);
createElem.classList.add("myProductName"); createElem.classList.add("rebellt-ecommerce--vendor"); textCopy.classList.add("myTextCopy"); productPrice.appendChild(createElem); productPrice.after(textCopy); //buyBtn.textContent = buyBtn.textContent + " " + myPrice;
elementContext.forEach(function (Item) { addChanges(item); }); } });
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
if (!window._rmxd) { window._rmxd = {}; }; window._rmxd.gamTargeting = { "category": ''+fwjson.category+'', "contentid": ''+fwjson.id+'', "keywords": ''+fwjson.tags+'', "lang": "en" };
var audioplayer = document.querySelector(".audio-player");
function deferedCode(){
var script = document.createElement("script"), placeTag = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; script.async = true; script.type = "text/javascript"; script.src ="https://tags.remixd.com/player/v5/index.js"; script.charset = "utf-8"; script.id = "remixd-audio-player-script"; audioplayer.appendChild(script);
}
window.runAfterPageLoad(deferedCode)
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
const links = document.querySelectorAll(".content-recommendations .recommendation a");
links.forEach( ( link ) => { const ahref = link.getAttribute("href"); link.setAttribute("href", ahref + "?utm_medium=recirculation&utm_source=narcity.com&utm_campaign=content-recommendation"); } );
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
var skimlinks_settings = { skimlinks_exclude: ["airbnb.com", "airbnb.ca", "airbnb.fr"] };
window.runAfterPageLoad(function(){ window.REBELMOUSE_STDLIB.loadExternalScript("https://s.skimresources.com/js/94645X1549135.skimlinks.js", function() { }); });
});
window.REBELMOUSE_ACTIVE_TASKS_QUEUE.push(function(){
var _sponsored = ""; var _nsfw = "false"; var post_id = document.querySelector('article').getAttribute("elid"); var nsfw = 546863483; var fr_vedette = 549266910; var sponsored = 549961341; var post = JSON.parse(document.querySelector("#post-context-" + post_id).innerHTML); if (post.post.sections.includes(fr_vedette) || post.post.sections.includes(sponsored)) { _sponsored = "true"; } else _sponsored = "false"; if (post.post.sections.includes(nsfw)) { _nsfw = "true"; }; var fwKeywords = JSON.stringify({ category: __a_cat, culture: __article_subcategories, nsfw: _nsfw, sponsored: _sponsored, tags: postTags, city: postCity, id: post_id }) var fwjson = JSON.parse(fwKeywords) var params = "&firework=storyblock-bottomleft&lang=en&category="+fwjson.category+"&culture="+fwjson.culture+"&nsfw="+fwjson.nsfw+"&sponsored="+fwjson.sponsored+"&keywords="+fwjson.tags+"&city="+fwjson.city+"&contentid="+fwjson.id console.log(params)
function deferedCode(){
var script = document.createElement("script"), placeTag = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; script.async = true; script.type = "text/javascript"; script.src ="https://asset.fwpub1.com/js/storyblock.js"; placeTag.parentNode.insertBefore(script, placeTag); document.head.appendChild(placeTag); var bodycontent = document.querySelector(".fireworkblock-sidebar-player"); bodycontent.insertAdjacentHTML("afterbegin", '
}
window.runAfterPageLoad(deferedCode);
});
#buy #Dollarama #hear